Return of the Homeless ATS Picks
Bloodshed in Week 16
Nothing insightful or interesting to type about in this space for the week. Just shitty NFL picks. Last week, I went 2-5 which brings my season record to 51-51. On to week 17!
Raiders 🏴 (+6.5) over COLTS 🐎 -
Raiders. Raiders covered last week against the Drew Locke Broncos which doesn’t inspire my confidence in them against this boat of a Colts team. Having said that, this Colts team is riding too high for me to resist picking against them with this Raiders team that no one believes in.
Giants 🏢 (+6) over BEARS 🐻 -
Giants. The Giants have fucked me in the ass for what feels like the whole season and now I have Stockholm Syndrome so now I pick them because I’ve grown to enjoy our butt-fucking sessions.
REDSKINS 🏜 (+3) over Eagles 🦅 -
Redskins. They got embarrassed last week and this is the NFL where bounce-backs happen and people overreact to last week.
RAVENS 🐦 (+3.5) over Rams 🐏 -
Ravens. They should thank the Redskins because if it wasn’t for them, the Ravens would have the spotlight to themselves for the team that got humiliated. I like them in a bounce-back game where their season is on the line this week.
Cardinals 🐤 (+6) over COWBOYS 🤠 -
Cardinals. They screwed me last week and when a team screws me, I pick them again usually. Rarely does a team bone me and cause me to pick against them in spite of what they did the previous week. Cowboys get all the smoke blown up their ass this week after scoring more than 40 in the first half last week.
NINERS ⛏ (-12.5) over Texans 🐂 -
Niners. They lost to the Titans last week and got my week off to a 1-0 start since I picked the Titans to do what they do and inexplicably win professional football games. Texans have the best rookie quarterback in my opinion. Davis Mills looks like a good NFL quarterback. He’s a large human being who makes throws to all over the field. I’m a fan of his.
CHARGERS 🔌 (-6.5) over Broncos 🐴 -
Chargers. They’re the roller-coaster team of the season. I think the roller-coaster methodically goes up this week. Broncos probably get back Teddy “Covers” Bridgewater this week and that’s not good for the Chargers but I believe Los Angeles will be getting a lot of good defensive players back this week. I won’t bother to actually look it up but that’s my understanding of their situation. How can a professional football team not bounce back from getting royally embarrassed by the team with the lowest over/under win total heading into the season? Give me the Super Chargers.